There are resistances that are very costly when it comes to breaking a relationship apart. The resistance you are going to be facing are as follows:
Resistance 1- Boredom
This one hurts.
Essentially what happened in a relationship here is that your girlfriend got so bored of being with you that she just lost her feelings. I have a buddy who has been with his girlfriend for five years. Yes, you read that right, FIVE YEARS.
One day when we were out at a bar he sat me down and he said,
“Chris, when you are with someone for that long things change… I remember when I first started dating [5 years girl] we couldn’t keep our hands of each other. The sex was absolutely amazing. Everything was bliss. However, as the years went by we got used to each other and things just become kind of boring.”
This was pretty shocking for me to hear since I didn’t even get a hint that my friend was getting bored in his relationship. So, I asked a pretty simple question,
“Why are you still with her then?”
His answer was very insightful.
“We had to learn to find ways to re-spark our relationship so we weren’t as bored with each other.”
Relationships that stand the test of time aren’t easy. Anyone who tells you that they are is either a fool or has never been in one. The boredom in a relationship is eventually going to come, it’s inevitable. However, the best way to combat that boredom is to keep your girl on her toes.
Treat her to dinner in a nice restaurant from time to time. Take her on a romantic get-a-way trip. Greet her in the morning with surprises. Have passionate sex in new places.
If you aren’t able to find a way to combat this boredom the result can be devastating with her falling out of love with you.
Resistance 2- Her Emotional Needs Weren’t Met
What do you think I mean when I talk about “emotional needs?”
In every single serious relationship that a woman enters into with a man she is going to be expecting that man to fulfill her emotional needs. I am talking about things like.
Feeling secure
Feeling envied
Feeling equal
Feeling like she is the only one that means something to him
Enough trust with a man that she can be open with him
I think you get the idea
When these needs aren’t met she is going to start doubting the relationship and slowly but surely lose her feelings for you.
Lets use you and your girlfriend as an example.
Lets say that throughout your relationship with your girlfriend you did not make her feel secure, you did not make her feel envied and she had no trust in you at all. In this case you are not doing anything to fulfill your girlfriend emotionally. Sure, maybe you are dynamite in the sack but that’s only one aspect of the relationship and most women don’t fall in love just because they lept with someone.
This is where men and women have a bit of a disconnect.
Men are obviously more physical so they equate physical things to love. Women on the other hand are more emotional so they equate more emotional things to love.
If you want to make your girlfriend love you again THAT is where you are going to have to start, with her emotions (but more on that later.)
Resistance 3- Other Men…
For most men this is a nightmare scenario (you can count me in that majority as well.)
The way this works is pretty simple. If your girlfriend ever mutters the four most horrifying words ever,
“I met someone else…”
Then that means that she probably fell out of love with you as the result of another guy. Now, I will say one thing. In my own experience most women usually do not go outside of their relationships (to other men) unless their own relationship has some serious problems.
For example, if you aren’t meeting your girlfriends emotional needs (resistance 2) then your girlfriend may go somewhere else to get them met.
Of course, there are always those men out there that actively hit on women who are married or dating just because they are jerks.
But I am going to make this really simple for you.
If your girlfriend ever leaves you for another man then that means that she doesn’t love you.
How do I know this?
Because people who are truly in love couldn’t ever comprehend a future with anyone else (that’s the romantic in me speaking 😉 .)
Resistance 4- Your Lying
What’s that famous quote?
“Trust – Hard to gain, Easy to lose..”
I feel that this quote is extremely insightful and applies to what we are going to talk about here with resistance 4 and lying.
Generally speaking when it comes to relationships where trust goes love usually follows. So, if there is a complete lack of trust there can also be a complete lack of love.
Now, I bet you are sitting there wondering,
“Why are we talking about trust and not about lies?”
Because, every time you lie (and your girlfriend catches you) it’s like taking an axe and cutting down the “tree of trust.”
Lets make a big (and hopefully untrue) assumption by saying that you got caught in a lot of lies during your relationship with your girlfriend. Well, the biggest resistance she is going to have when she contemplates on whether or not she should take you back is probably going to go a little like this,
“He is a liar and if I take him back he isn’t going to change. How can I ever trust him?”
Now, I don’t know about you but I tend not to fall in love with people who I know for a fact are going to lie to me.
(Don’t freak out if this is you since I am going to show you what to do to win back your exes affection later in this guide.)
Resistance 5- Growing Apart
Life has an interesting way of putting us all on different paths.
For example, when I was graduating high school all of my friends and I swore that we would keep in touch. That didn’t happen obviously as I am not friends with any of them anymore. The same thing happened with college. I haven’t hung out with any of my college friends in over a year.
My point here is simple, all of us are on a path and sometimes that path takes us in a different direction than the other people we have grown close to.
Maybe your girlfriend was looking for the next step, marriage, and you weren’t ready to commit. Heck, maybe the two of you were married and she wanted to have kids and you didn’t.
Big differences in the philosophies of the relationship like those can be a force that causes two people to grow apart.
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